Consuming Darkness

We have a unique relationship with darkness. As children we love to play and tell stories in the darkness. Yet if all light is extinguished our fascination turns to fear. When we get older darkness can even become a nuisance (ever stub your toe on the edge of your bed in the middle of the night?). As an adult we may even experience a darkness that as children we never knew: a darkness of the soul.

Some refer to it as despair, hopelessness, and depression, yet the feelings it brings with it are the same. In the dark seasons of life a deep sadness and sense of meaningless seam to keep us incarcerated in a life that feels too small; void of any breath; void of any light. In darkness we loose our orientation to life and we become numb to the world around us; operating like a shell of our former self.

A darkness of the soul is deep, engulfing, and all consuming. In darkness, there are no easy answers. Sadly many who go through seasons of darkness are given platitudes to “help” them in “their” situation. “Maybe you’re not praying enough”, “This must be a result of some unconfessed sin in your life”, and (my personal favorite) “Just let go and let God…”

Articulating these sentiments can leave one feeling more alone, as if it is up to them (and their “prayer time”) to just “snap out of it” (see the advice Job received from his “friends”). Religious clichés like these leave little room for help and end up perpetuating a deeper sense of guilt leading one further down the spiral of hopelessness.

The darkness of the soul may seem void of any kind of spirituality. However, this is often the place where God is most present. In the place where the lights of life are shut out we are often taken to the end of “self”; the place where, because of total exhaustion, we surrender. It is in that moment a new light dawns and we begin to see more clearly than we ever have before.

There is no formula or time frame given through which the cloud will be lifted…darkness is a part of the journey.

If you are experiencing a season of darkness; you do not have to journey alone. Share your feelings with someone you trust, who loves you and can walk with you (a friend, family member, a counselor). As you feel swallowed in hopelessness, may you find solidarity with the Giver of Light who is never consumed by darkness and has made his dwelling among you.

When you find yourself experiencing a season of “light” be generous with the light that has been entrusted to you. Use it as a beacon of hope to those who are stuck and wondering, ushering them to the place of peace and hope.

“I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, ‘The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.’” – Lamentations 2:4