Pursuing Longing

Yearning and longing are not things I am particularly fond of. I would much rather rest in discovery and contentment. Something in my wiring tells me that if I am longing then there must be something wrong with me. Maybe it is my lack of appreciation for what I have (in relationships, accomplishments, and possessions) that keeps me on the unsettled path of longing. Sometimes I long simply for the longing to cease.

I recently began reading a book by Rabbi Irwin Kula titled, “Yearnings; Embracing the Sacred Messiness of Life”, and have been thankful for the way in which Rabbi Kula has articulated the importance of our yearnings. In the introductory pages he writes, “Our yearnings generate life. Our desire animates us” (p.xiii). While our longings and desires can drive us mad, they are essential in our pursuit of discovery; discovery of self, discovery of others, and discovery of God. Maybe our goal should not be so much to squelch or subdue our longings, but rather to ask “What are these longings teaching me about myself? About God?”

Throughout the Scriptures yearning and longing fill the pages. God longs to create out of love, the Israelites long for freedom to become the people of God, Hannah longs for a child, Jesus yearns to do the will of the Father, Paul longs to see the Church form across cultural barricades, creation groans with yearning for renewal, and God longs for full restoration of all that he made. Longing and yearning give way to movement , expansion, and creativity; longing is an essential element to the God story.

As I personally yo-yo in and out of spaces of longing, contentment, and back to longing, I have tried to remind myself that yearning is necessary. Without our yearning we give way to the stale stagnancies of death. Maybe our prayers should not be, “God please take away this yearning”, but rather, “God may my longings be rooted in you and propel me further into the life, death, and resurrection of Christ.”

This in some way echoes the words of Paul in Philippians, “I want to know Christ, the power of his resurrection, and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me” (Phil. 3:10-12).

These are words of longing, pursuit, and movement.

Maybe it is your longing for a healthy relationship with a loved one that will serve as the catalyst to help you love them more deeply. Maybe it is your longing of meaningful work that will cause you to spend extra hours dreaming and writing your next idea. And maybe it is your longing to be comfortable with your uncomfortable-self that will cause you to move closer to the one who created you.

Creator of all, Truth made known in flesh. May you become the craving of my heart and the yearning of my soul. On my journey grant me spaces of rest and encouragement that I may appreciate the fullness of all you have done in life around me. And before I become too complacent, nudge me and unsettle me, that I may never give up my pursuit to follow after you. Amen.