God's Absence

I have often been told that when one first turns to God, one is greeted with brilliant 'Yes' answers to prayers.  For a long time that was true for me.  But then, when he has you hooked, he starts to say 'No'.  This has been, indeed, my experience.  But it has been more than a 'No' answer lately; after all, 'No' is an answer.  It is the silence, the withdrawal, which is so devastating.  the world is difficult enough with God; without him it is a hideous joke.

Madeleine L'Engle, The Irrational Season

We have been fooled to believe that following after God always brings clarity and dispels any confusion.  In this instance Religion is exceedingly helpful; an answer for everything and everything in order.  Yet somewhere along life's path the construct of Religion (whether it be our religious fervour for politics, god, or human ingenuity) is tested by the weight of the unpredictable mess-of-life.  We work diligently to ensure that the structure of our Religion can withstand the pressure.  We double our efforts, deepen our convictions, and attack out of our own survival.

There is so much at stake; there is too much to lose.

Our self-preservational instincts to double our efforts around our ideologies will only shroud us from the depth and vastness of God.  We will live small lives if we hold on too tightly for fear that our life may actually be lost.

This is the descriptive of a grown-up-mature faith.  One that no longer is seduced by an answer for everything and can instead, in the stillness of God's absence, continue the journey in faith.