The Destructive Self

We have all been designed to create in this life.  To fashion ideas into realities, to explore new thoughts, and to live lives that outwardly express the true inner self.

We marvel at those who who bring their art to life.  Musicians, Painters, and Poets.  We long to express ourselves in such a beautiful and constructive manner.

Because we don't know how to express ourselves (perhaps we really do know how, but choose not to for fear of what it will cost us) we live inwardly conflicted lives.  We secretly wrestle, quietly scream, and inwardly go to war.  We can't make sense of the tension and cannot express ourselves in the manner of the true Artist and so what comes from our hands is nothing short of destruction.

It may come through throwing the tools when you can't get the swing-set constructed just right or the tearing up of the canvas when the picture wasn't getting flushed out the way you envisioned.  It may come through hateful words when you and another fail to see each other fully, or worse, it may come into being when you strike another because they have unknowingly reflected to much of your worse self.

We destroy when the frustration of "what we wish to be is not what is" breaks past our capacity to hold it safely.

We destroy because the old container clearly does not work anymore and birthing the new is too labor-some.

These expressed fits of aggravation reveal something to us:

Our petulance for destruction is bound in our longing to create.

Please do not be startled anymore by the self that wants to scream, throw, and smash (do not bury it away, pretending that only the pietist within you exists).  Yet do not indulge it because of its ease; the unleashed destruction will only become amplified.  Instead, listen to it.  Invite it to sit and be still.  Let it, without fear, become a teacher for you; usher it to the light.

For it is an indicator that there is creative work yet to be done.

Tired Old Constructs

When we learn to "live with" the constructs around us our creativity is sent to the back burner.  Our true self is overshadowed by the lesser self.  We can function this way for a while; we may even be productive.  But please don't be deceived...productivity does not equal life.

This is dangerous.  If you believe it you will pursue productivity over your calling every time, and in so doing your formation will come from the parameters around you and not from the God-breathed life within you.

And after a while?  You will find those parameters begin to fit like chains.  Continue on the imprisoned path long enough and you will find your world, your life, will get smaller; no room left for even your breath.

Instead of taking your cues from the constructs around you, begin listening to the voice deep within you.  Vocalize it, share it, act upon it.  There will be moments the art within you does not work with the constructs around you.

Don't worry.  Don't be afraid.

While this is a place of death it is not the death of your true self.  It is the place where the old order must pass away to make room for what is bursting forth.  This is a divine shedding of the old self; the warn out container discarded, and a new wineskin awaits.

Wild & Chaotic Creativity

"Tohu va Vohu" - wild and chaotic - is how the Hebrew Bible describes the world in the first moments of creation (Genesis 1:2).  Unlike other creation myths where chaos dies and order triumphs, Genesis leaves chaos intact.  This is the source of both suffering and creativity.  A completely ordered world would be like a paint-by-number landscape: everything is scripted and nothing new can happen.  Actual creation is like a Jackson Pollock painting where chance and chaos are part of the creative process.  Only in a world of "tohu va vohu" is there the possibility for new life, great art, innovative science, and ever-expanding wisdom.  If God is an artist, God is closer to Jackson Pollock than paint-by-number.

                                                - Rabbi Rami

Working Stiff

I have nothing to say of my working life,

only that a tie is a noose, and inverted though it is,

it will hang a man nonetheless if he's not careful.

                                                                 - Yann Martel, Life of Pi

Please don't forget what your real work is.  This world will try to convince you that your "job" is answering to others, doing tasks and fulfilling obligations.  You will certainly have responsibilities in this life, but the minute you believe the false notion that your responsibilities are your life, is the moment you become a working stiff.

Rigid, lifeless, a cog and a number.

If there is to be a "job" it is to keep focused on your art; that within you that only you have been gifted to give.  Be persistant in purusing it, be deliberate in displaying it, and never tie the tie too tightly.

The "Ah-ha!" Moment

The "Ah-ha!" moment.

The "Light bulb going off" moment.

The "It just clicked" moment.

These break-through moments of clarity are what many of us hope to see happen in our work.  We want the epiphany to come so we can finally have our success.  Jealousy may even set in when we see others come into their moment with relative ease.

But please don't be fooled.

The "Ah-ha" moments are actually few and far-between in life (the rarity is what makes it such a marvelous spectical).  If you keep waiting for the "light bulb to go off" before you to get to work, your art will never be realized.  The "Ah-ha!" is only possible because of all the preceeding grunt work; that's what gives birth to its brilliance.

The visionary artist isn't someone who lives in a continual state of brilliant epiphany, they are the ones who are trudging through the darkness because they can't escape the gnawing, haunting feeling that 'something' lies ahead.

Your real work doesn't begin after the "Light switch went off", it began long before it; when the room was dark and it was impossible to see.

The Artist's Journey

The artist committing himself to his calling has volunteered for hell, whether he knows it or not.  He will be dining for the duration on a diet of isolation, rejection, self-doubt, despair, ridicule, contempt, and humiliation.

- Stephen Pressfield

Not really a comforting thought.

Yet...

While the life of the artist is filled with heartache and difficulty, the alternative life of ignoring your passions and serving the "supposed to" is simply unlivable.

Your pursuit of living the artist within you will take you to the end of yourself.  This journey will strip away the things that make living the artist's life impossible: the need for conformity, approval, and a 'fan club'.  And this is percisely the journey you need to take; it is a shedding of an old self.

It's time to get lean, get resourceful, and discover who you truly are.

Journey on.

Filler For the Masses

If you are concerned with gaining a following your art will suffer.  Your over-concern with what you think others think they want will leave you second-guessing, cutting corners, and selling-out.

Continue on this path long enough and your art will cease being art and become cheap-filler, white-noise, bland and uninspiring.  You may get others to sign-up and sign-on, but each time you do it will be a death a thousand times over to the true artist within.

Prioritize Your Art

What are you working on today? 

Is it something that feeds your soul or is it a have-to-should-supposed-to-expectation-duty-obligatory-go-through-the-motions-check-list-task?

Yes, we all have things we are “supposed to do”; responsibilities that need fulfillment because others are waiting on us.  However, please don’t let this be your excuse from getting to your real work.

Every day you have an opportunity to creatively lean into that which brings you life.  You may need to change your day’s schedule so your art becomes a greater priority, you may need to change your attitude so you stop blaming others for your lack of production, or you may need to change your expectations of creativity so you can find beauty in what you are already doing.

We are all busy people with expectations too long to list.  The difference between the artist and the amateur is that the artist makes a way for their art to come alive.

Creative Incarceration

I hope you’re not waiting for permission or approval for your creative expression.  If so, pull up a chair and get comfortable.  If the artist within you is waiting for someone else to let them out then the only thing you can count on is a life-sentence of creative incarceration.

You can blame the creative hold-up on other people’s bureaucracy and “lack of vision”, but really, it’s just your fear that’s keeping you back.

The Migrating Artist

“We migrate, too.  We follow the Muse instead of the sun.  When one crop is picked, we hit the road and move on the next.”

-         Stephen Pressfield

Whether it is a new idea or endeavor, the artist frequently moves from one thing to the next.  The continual movement of the artist looks erratic, impulsive and poorly planned. 

Perhaps it is.

Yet the artist also knows that staying too long is impossible.  Just as soil cannot sustain the same crops through all seasons, inspiration cannot be mined without end at one local.  If the artist stays too long (past the point of insightful discovery) they find themselves in a sparse land.  Fruit no longer bearing.

When the place we have dwelt (physically, emotionally, or spiritually) no longer offers any creative edge in which we, the artist can dance, it becomes time to journey on.

Moving with the Muse takes courage.  It takes a deep level of self-awareness and a high inner-understanding to know when it’s time to dig deeper and when it’s time to pack up.  This discernment is not an easy task and it takes risk.  If the artist digs deeper and there is nothing discovered, the only thing excavated is their own insanity.  And if the artist moves on before it was time, then unfinished business becomes their new companion.

The complex nature of the migrating artist is not something to fear or something that can be easily distilled into simple terms.  Rather, it is to be seen as what is.  Migrating, wondering, and discovering are what it means to follow the Muse.

What an incredible journey before us.



The Art Around You

Last Saturday I was with my family at a collaborative art show/experience downtown Grand Rapids called Art Prize. Artists from all around the world entered their work to be on display throughout the downtown area.

Art in the buildings, outside of the buildings, on the buildings, street performers...at Art Prize, art is everywhere.

The Art is impossible to ignore.

In my daily routine Art doesn't emerge as brilliantly as it does at Art Prize. The mundane of each day (looking as it did the day before) has a way of neutralizing anything that speaks afresh. Sometimes in a sea of repetition, painted in variants of grey, it seems as if Art has left long ago.

This void of Art, beauty, creativity, and wonderment creates a vacuum in which the air itself becomes too difficult to breathe.

Yet the Art is not gone.

It is there; the Blue of the Sky, the Texture of the Tree Trunk, the Sound of Children, the Chill of a Fall Rain.

Lying just beneath the surface of the Institution, the cog of Industry, the Normal, and the Mass Produced, Art is everywhere.

It takes creative insight, the Artist, to excavate that which society has covered over; to point to the beauty ignored because of mass repetition. In a world where Industry is on the decline we need Artists more than ever, to open our eyes to the beauty that has been there all along; to point out for others what has always been present.

Wherever you find yourself today may you be aware of the Art that surrounds you and may you point it out for the benefit of others.

The Thin Line Between Creative and Crazy (pt. 3)

"Songwriting is about getting the demon out of me. It's like being possessed. You try to sleep, but the song won't let you. So you have to get up and make it into something, and then you're allowed to sleep. It's always in the middle of the bloody night, or when you're half awake or tired, when your critical faculties are switched off. So letting go is what the whole game is."

- John Lennon

The Thin Line Between Creative and Crazy (pt. 2)

"It is only true that a lot of artists are mentally ill - it's a life which, to put it mildly, makes one an outsider. I'm all right when I completely immerse myself in my work, but I'll always remain half crazy." - Vincent van Gogh

The Thin Line Between Creative and Crazy (pt. 1)

"Many people hear voices when no one is there. Some of them are called 'mad' and are shut up in rooms where they stare at the walls all day. Others are called 'writers' and they do pretty much the same thing." - Meg Chittenden