Probably the thing I struggle with most is being patient. Not the kind of patience needed when the guy in front of you at the grocery check-out realizes he has forgotten his wallet (usually just after he scanned through his entire shopping cart). Or the kind of patience one must possess when traveling through Chicagoland traffic. Oddly enough these impatient moments make sense to me.
Lines at the grocery store will not go on forever and the traffic on your reverse commute will, at some point break-up.
There will be resolve.
The patience I struggle with is when life hits moments that, like heavy traffic, have little movement. When life feels stuck I want to know how to get it “un-stuck”, I want to know the purpose of the “stuckness” and what is on the other side of the curve.
I question whether there will be resolve.
My impatience breeds anxiety and steals the joys each moment tries to offer. No joy received. Asleep to the possibilities in front of me and entrenched in confusing nightmares of my own making, it is in this space that God becomes the Manipulating Trickster.
Maybe another image is in order. Something that gives respect to the restlessness I feel but renders it powerless.
Jesus gave the example of a child asking for a fish and reminded us that God is not a manipulating trickster who gives a snake, but a loving father who gives beyond what we even ask.
The dynamic is like a child jumping up and down with arms outstretched towards their parent who is lovingly (and patiently) at work un-wrapping a treat for their child. “Hold on”, the Parent says in a tone that is affirming and promising. “It is coming”. With a smile the Parent finishes unwrapping and gladly hands the treat over.
The child was on the verge of a temper tantrum but the Parent was not fazed. The treat, the gift was always coming; Hope sure and certain. The resolve may not be in our way or our timing, but there indeed will be a resolve...
And it will abound with goodness.
