The Questions We Ask (Love Is An Orientation pt. 2)

When children ask questions it is usually because they are curious about something they do not understand. "Dad, why is the sky blue?" Their questions are steeped in humility as they ask with a teachable spirit. As we grow older asking questions can be identified as a sign of weakness (if you truly were smart, then "you'd have the answer"). Sadly this means the questions we often ask as grown ups are done less out of a desire to learn and more out of a desire to identify and label.

We ask questions to find out who's on our side and who's not; to find out what's permissible and what's not. We use our "questions" as divisive tools to alienate and isolate (and sometimes demonize) others that think differently than we do.

Andrew Marin brings to light these "close-ended" questions that are prevalent in the current conversation between the Evangelical and Gay/Lesbian community. Questions like: "Do you think that gays and lesbians are born that way?" "Do you think homosexuality is a sin?" "Do you think someone can be gay and be a Christian?" "Are gay people going to hell?". These "yes/no" questions are dangerous traps. Dangerous because once "answered" judgements (based on presuppositions) are made, and whatever could have developed into a life-giving relationship often crumbles apart and people are cast off to their respective sides.

Jesus was faced with these kind of close-ended questions all throughout his ministry-healing on the Sabbath; on paying taxes to Caesar; on divorce (over 25 passages in the Gospels). Yet Jesus never takes the bait; He replies in a different manner.

In a recent conversation with Scot McKnight he referred to this type of response as "the third way". It is in a "third way" response that one moves the question from the peripheral to the heart of the matter. It is in the "third way" response that one human being is able to relate to another human being and address issues of isolation, rejection, and self-worth. It is a "third way" response that fosters relationship between people and between God.

This conversation and the questions between the Evangelical and Gay/Lesbian community will continue, but let us do our best (regardless of where we are "on the issue") to ask our questions like children; teachable and hopeful. Let us also work to give answers that reflect the "third way" of Jesus in an effort for true community and solidarity to abound.