The Questions We Ask (Love Is An Orientation pt. 2)

When children ask questions it is usually because they are curious about something they do not understand. "Dad, why is the sky blue?" Their questions are steeped in humility as they ask with a teachable spirit. As we grow older asking questions can be identified as a sign of weakness (if you truly were smart, then "you'd have the answer"). Sadly this means the questions we often ask as grown ups are done less out of a desire to learn and more out of a desire to identify and label.

We ask questions to find out who's on our side and who's not; to find out what's permissible and what's not. We use our "questions" as divisive tools to alienate and isolate (and sometimes demonize) others that think differently than we do.

Andrew Marin brings to light these "close-ended" questions that are prevalent in the current conversation between the Evangelical and Gay/Lesbian community. Questions like: "Do you think that gays and lesbians are born that way?" "Do you think homosexuality is a sin?" "Do you think someone can be gay and be a Christian?" "Are gay people going to hell?". These "yes/no" questions are dangerous traps. Dangerous because once "answered" judgements (based on presuppositions) are made, and whatever could have developed into a life-giving relationship often crumbles apart and people are cast off to their respective sides.

Jesus was faced with these kind of close-ended questions all throughout his ministry-healing on the Sabbath; on paying taxes to Caesar; on divorce (over 25 passages in the Gospels). Yet Jesus never takes the bait; He replies in a different manner.

In a recent conversation with Scot McKnight he referred to this type of response as "the third way". It is in a "third way" response that one moves the question from the peripheral to the heart of the matter. It is in the "third way" response that one human being is able to relate to another human being and address issues of isolation, rejection, and self-worth. It is a "third way" response that fosters relationship between people and between God.

This conversation and the questions between the Evangelical and Gay/Lesbian community will continue, but let us do our best (regardless of where we are "on the issue") to ask our questions like children; teachable and hopeful. Let us also work to give answers that reflect the "third way" of Jesus in an effort for true community and solidarity to abound.

Healthy Start

I like it when I'm able to make it to the gym early in the morning. Although it doesn't happen every day (it usually depends on how early I get to bed the night before), when I get my workout done, home and showered before 6:30am, the day rolls better. Beginning my mornings with a 4:45am wake up gives me space/time to prepare holistically. Our mornings as a family become less hurried and forced. There is pace and rhythm.

One of the bonuses is that when it comes to breakfast, my kids don't have to "fend for themselves" (picture 3 children climbing on counter tops, getting ceramic bowls out of cabinets, trying to steady an all too heavy milk jug they've hoisted over the bowl of cereal they just poured) as mom and dad try and wake up and get themselves ready.

When I'm centered I have time (and space) to be available for my kids. One of the simple ways I make use of my availability is by making them breakfast. One of their favorites is oatmeal...the brown sugar, the hearty oats, and splash of cold milk makes this more like indulging in a warm cookie than eating the most important meal of the day.

Sitting with my kids as they eat their Quaker Oats allows me to be present with them. To listen to them talk about whatever is on their mind (from the silly to the curious). I realize that as my kids get older and have more commitments vying for their time, my time spent with them will be less and less. I need to make my time with them count.

I've had far too many mornings where I woke up late, and in a frantic attempt to pack lunches, check freshly brushed teeth, and get kids out the door I have gotten frustrated and snapped at them because they "weren't moving fast enough". Never a good way to start the morning.

I need "oatmeal mornings". Mornings where I have gotten my act together before the kids get up. Mornings where I can truly be present for my kids, so they can start their day off right. Mornings that remind them (even without words) that Dad loves them and is always available.

Love Is An Orientation pt. 1

I just began reading a new book yesterday by Andrew Marin called: "Love Is An Orientation: Elevating the Conversation with the Gay Community". My heart is burdened for those who find themselves on the "outside" of God's holy community...and in this culture there may be no other greater "outsider" than those in the gay and lesbian community.

I've come to realize that most of this conversation (actually "argument" may be a more fitting term) is based out of fear. Evangelicals are afraid of "condoning sin" and those in the gay and lesbian community are afraid of getting "hurt". Out of this fear we've heard people speak about what "the Bible plainly says..." and in turn dismiss the very real pain, loneliness, rejection, and hurt that those in the gay and lesbian community feel. We've then heard those respond in defensive posture, afraid that they will continue to be viewed as citizens with a "less than" status.

If we are to have any kind of life-giving conversation that leads towards redemption and transformation for all of us, then we must be willing to set aside our fear, acknowledging that we are not God and that God does not need us to "fight" on God's behalf. Even more, we must be compelled by love. A love that is slow to speak, quick to listen. A love that is patient and gentle. A love that is kind and gracious. A love that refuses to "fight against" but instead chooses to "walk with". This kind of love is the genesis for hopeful dialogue and relationship with those who are different than us, but are children of God all the same.

Rocket Kids

He Is Risen!

The strife is o'er, the battle done, now is the victor's triumph won. O let the song of praise be sung:

Alleluia!

The three sad days have quickly sped, he rises glorious from the dead. All glory to our risen Head!

Alleluia!

The Lord is risen!

The Lord is risen, indeed!

Good Friday

Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted.

But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that made us whole, and with his stripes we are healed.

Thanks be to God.

Isaiah 53:4-5

A Letter

I was reading Scot McKnight's blog today and found the conversation worth engaging. Click here for the link. I'd love to hear your thoughts.