Letting Go of the Charade

You can't keep going like this.

Sooner or later something will have to give.

Go on, try and keep ignoring the voice deep within you.  It won't work; you can't keep this up.

Don't be too hard on yourself.  You've given the "supposed-to" life your best effort; you tried living it in front of others and in some ways began to believe it yourself. 

The charade is over and you know it.  There's only one thing left to do.

Let it go.

But don't worry, it was never your life anyway.

Good News of Great Joy

By the tender mercy of our God
the dawn from on high has broken upon us.

God has given light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace.

Behold I bring you good news of great joy: for to you is born in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.

Authority rests upon his shoulder, and he is named:

Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.


(Luke 1:78-79; 2:10-11; Isaiah 9:6)

Holy Night

O holy night! The stars are brightly shining,

It is the night of our dear Saviour's birth.

Long lay the world in sin and error pining,

'Til He appear'd and the soul felt its worth.

A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,

For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.

Fall on your knees! O hear the angel voices!

O night divine, O night when Christ was born;

O night divine, O night, O night Divine.

Led by the light of Faith serenely beaming,

With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand.

So led by light of a star sweetly gleaming,

Here come the wise men from Orient land.

The King of Kings lay thus in lowly manger;

In all our trials born to be our friend.

He knows our need, to our weakness is no stranger,

Behold your King! Before Him lowly bend!

Behold your King, Before Him lowly bend!

Truly He taught us to love one another;

His law is love and His gospel is peace.

Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother;

And in His name all oppression shall cease.

Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,

Let all within us praise His holy name.

Christ is the Lord! O praise His Name forever,

His power and glory evermore proclaim.

His power and glory evermore proclaim.

4th Sunday of Advent

The Lord will give you a sign.  The young woman will be with child and shall bear a son, and shall name him Immanuel (God is with us).

Isaiah 7:14

Tired Old Constructs

When we learn to "live with" the constructs around us our creativity is sent to the back burner.  Our true self is overshadowed by the lesser self.  We can function this way for a while; we may even be productive.  But please don't be deceived...productivity does not equal life.

This is dangerous.  If you believe it you will pursue productivity over your calling every time, and in so doing your formation will come from the parameters around you and not from the God-breathed life within you.

And after a while?  You will find those parameters begin to fit like chains.  Continue on the imprisoned path long enough and you will find your world, your life, will get smaller; no room left for even your breath.

Instead of taking your cues from the constructs around you, begin listening to the voice deep within you.  Vocalize it, share it, act upon it.  There will be moments the art within you does not work with the constructs around you.

Don't worry.  Don't be afraid.

While this is a place of death it is not the death of your true self.  It is the place where the old order must pass away to make room for what is bursting forth.  This is a divine shedding of the old self; the warn out container discarded, and a new wineskin awaits.

Wild & Chaotic Creativity

"Tohu va Vohu" - wild and chaotic - is how the Hebrew Bible describes the world in the first moments of creation (Genesis 1:2).  Unlike other creation myths where chaos dies and order triumphs, Genesis leaves chaos intact.  This is the source of both suffering and creativity.  A completely ordered world would be like a paint-by-number landscape: everything is scripted and nothing new can happen.  Actual creation is like a Jackson Pollock painting where chance and chaos are part of the creative process.  Only in a world of "tohu va vohu" is there the possibility for new life, great art, innovative science, and ever-expanding wisdom.  If God is an artist, God is closer to Jackson Pollock than paint-by-number.

                                                - Rabbi Rami

Wholeness

Lord, I am fragmented.
Please make me whole.
Lord, there are parts of me that I don’t like and there are parts that I do.
Yet I am the sum of them.
Please make me whole.
Lord, I have gifts of creativity, emotion and logic;
Integrate my being, and make me whole, dear Lord.
Lord, I am spirit, soul and body and some of it is broken.

Dear, dear Lord: I cry to you to make me whole.
Mend me and integrate me afresh.
Things have got corrupted: re-program me, O Lord,
That I might be the human being you always wanted me to be.

Dear Lord, I am spirit, soul and body and I am not in balance.
Tune me so that I might harmonize with your Holy Spirit,
that he might lead me in all truth.
Help me hear the music of heaven, the songs of the angels;
The whisper of your command,
And grant me strength in soul and body to obey.

And dear Lord, I am one, just one, of your church on earth.
You called it your Body: you called it your Temple, with us as living stones.
Grant that I might be truly a part, truly a living stone
with a function, with a purpose,
giving and receiving
loving and caring
being loved and cared for
doing your will.

My Lord, I offer you all of me.
Make me beautiful,
make me whole, O Lord, I pray.

Michale Fulljames and Michael Harper, Prayers for Healing

3rd Sunday of Advent

The desert and the parched land will be glad; the wilderness will rejoice and blossom.  Like the crocus, it will burst into bloom; it will rejoice greatly and shout for joy.

Strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way; say to those with fearful heats, "Be strong, do not fear; your God will come, he will come with vengeance; with divine retribution he will come to save you."

Then the eyes of the blind be opened and the ears of the deaf unstopped.  Then will the lame leap like a deer, and the mute tongue shout for joy.  Water will gush forth in the wilderness and streams in the desert.  The burning sand will become a pool, the thirsty ground bubbling springs.  In the haunts where jackals once lay, grass and reeds and papyrus grow. 

And a highway will be there;  it will be called the Way of Holiness; it will be for those who walk on that Way.  The unclean will not journey on it; wicked fools will not go about on it.  No lion will be there, nor any ravenous beast; they will not be found there.  But only the redeemed will walk there,

And those the Lord has rescued will return.  They will enter Zion with singing; everlasting joy will crown their heads.  Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away.

Isaiah 35

Working Stiff

I have nothing to say of my working life,

only that a tie is a noose, and inverted though it is,

it will hang a man nonetheless if he's not careful.

                                                                 - Yann Martel, Life of Pi

Please don't forget what your real work is.  This world will try to convince you that your "job" is answering to others, doing tasks and fulfilling obligations.  You will certainly have responsibilities in this life, but the minute you believe the false notion that your responsibilities are your life, is the moment you become a working stiff.

Rigid, lifeless, a cog and a number.

If there is to be a "job" it is to keep focused on your art; that within you that only you have been gifted to give.  Be persistant in purusing it, be deliberate in displaying it, and never tie the tie too tightly.

Playing In the Mud

Don't blame others for your circumstance.  Don't blame the cosmos either.

You think this will help, but really it's just playing in the mud and pulling others in with you.

For a moment this will make you feel better about your situation but it will do nothing to change your perspective.  Instead of blaming others for your circumstance or shaking your fist at the heavens, try living into the opportunities that are placed before you each day.

It may not be what you wanted, but it is what you've got.

Getting out of bed means the day will have to begin.
Going to bed at night means having to relive this again soon.

Moving through the day in a sleep-haze gets it over quickly.
Insomnia at night buys more time until tomorrow's insanity arrives.

Longing not reached
Yearning not fulfilled
Passion not lived
Hope still elusive.

2nd Sunday of Advent

A shoot will come up from the stump of Jesse; from his roots a Branch will bear fruit.  The Spirit of the Lord will rest on him - the Spirit of wisdom and of understanding, the Spirit of counsel and of might, the Spirit of the knowledge and fear of the Lord - and he will delight in the fear of the Lord. 

He will not judge by what he sees with his eyes, or decide by what he hears with his ears; but with righteousness he will judge the needy, with justice he will give decisions for the poor of the earth.  He will strike the earth with the rod of his mouth; with the breath of his lips he will slay the wicked.  Righteousness will be his belt and faithfulness the sash around his waist.

The wolf will live with the lamb, the leopard will lie down with the goat, the calf and the lion and the yearling together; and a little child will lead them.  The cow will feed with the bear, their young will lie down together, and the lion will eat straw like the ox.  Infants will play near the hole of the cobra; young children will put their hands into the viper's nest.

They will neither harm nor destroy on all my holy mountain, for the earth will be filled with the knowledge of the Lord as the waters cover the sea.

In that day the Root of Jesse will stand as a banner for the peoples; the nations will rally to him, and his resting place will be glorious.

Isaiah 11:1-10

In The Future...

Post-it Note Doodle of what awaits us in the future.  How awesome will it be to have ion-beam shooting robots?  (Unless they are evil ion-beam shooting robots; then that wouldn't be so good).

What is your future doodle?

The "Ah-ha!" Moment

The "Ah-ha!" moment.

The "Light bulb going off" moment.

The "It just clicked" moment.

These break-through moments of clarity are what many of us hope to see happen in our work.  We want the epiphany to come so we can finally have our success.  Jealousy may even set in when we see others come into their moment with relative ease.

But please don't be fooled.

The "Ah-ha" moments are actually few and far-between in life (the rarity is what makes it such a marvelous spectical).  If you keep waiting for the "light bulb to go off" before you to get to work, your art will never be realized.  The "Ah-ha!" is only possible because of all the preceeding grunt work; that's what gives birth to its brilliance.

The visionary artist isn't someone who lives in a continual state of brilliant epiphany, they are the ones who are trudging through the darkness because they can't escape the gnawing, haunting feeling that 'something' lies ahead.

Your real work doesn't begin after the "Light switch went off", it began long before it; when the room was dark and it was impossible to see.

1st Sunday of Advent

He will judge between the nations and will settle disputes for many peoples.  They will beat their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning hooks.  Nation will not take up sword against nation, nor will they train for war anymore.  Come, let us walk in the light of the Lord.

Isaiah 2:4-5

The Artist's Journey

The artist committing himself to his calling has volunteered for hell, whether he knows it or not.  He will be dining for the duration on a diet of isolation, rejection, self-doubt, despair, ridicule, contempt, and humiliation.

- Stephen Pressfield

Not really a comforting thought.

Yet...

While the life of the artist is filled with heartache and difficulty, the alternative life of ignoring your passions and serving the "supposed to" is simply unlivable.

Your pursuit of living the artist within you will take you to the end of yourself.  This journey will strip away the things that make living the artist's life impossible: the need for conformity, approval, and a 'fan club'.  And this is percisely the journey you need to take; it is a shedding of an old self.

It's time to get lean, get resourceful, and discover who you truly are.

Journey on.

Nothing To Prove

You don't have to prove yourself.  Not to your boss, your ex, your teacher, your co-worker, your children, your client, your parents, the world, or even yourself.

No more energy wasted on being defensive, no more time wasted trying to convince, no more heart-ache "living-up to".

Let that never-ending, self-defeating, cycle of exhaustion go.

Instead, focus your energy on offering your best self; simply because it brings joy.

Filler For the Masses

If you are concerned with gaining a following your art will suffer.  Your over-concern with what you think others think they want will leave you second-guessing, cutting corners, and selling-out.

Continue on this path long enough and your art will cease being art and become cheap-filler, white-noise, bland and uninspiring.  You may get others to sign-up and sign-on, but each time you do it will be a death a thousand times over to the true artist within.

Living Gift

The world would have you believe that you are an impulse.  A stomach to be fed, a reaction that cannot be contained, an urge to be fulfilled.

You are marketed to, tantalized, wooed-in, and teased.

A consumer.

Something to be controlled.

Something to be manipulated.

Something to be used.

But these things are a twist of the reality; a perversion of the truth.

You are a gift.

Designed to be given.

Designed for generosity.

Made in Love.

Doodle Bomb

Nagel texted me this doodle.  I'm not sure what this bomb has in mind but his intentions don't seem virtuous (little does Mr. Doodle Bomb know, his fuse won't last the walk to my house)..

What doodle will you send a friend today?

Pretending There Is No Pain

The act of pain-suppression is never a good remedy for healing... it only makes our pain more concentrated; more acute.

When you are wounded, hurt, or in pain, the way to really deal with it is to name it.

Naming our pain is like turning on the light when we hear noises in the house.  It becomes striped of its capacity to hold us in fear.  When we name our pain we define it; creating boundaries in which it can no longer roam anywhere it pleases.

Our naming constructs a container that can hold corrosive contents.

While pain-suppression tries to convince that there is no pain (so keep going on your merry way), naming our pain gives us the space to breathe again, to catch our breath, pause, turn, stare it in the eyes and tell it that we will not be held hostage any longer.

Call pain out of the shadows, bring it front-and-center and no longer let it hold you in fear.

Co-Creating Melodies

The story is told of a concert pianist who was on the point of beginning a performance when there was a scream from the audience.  A child had left her seat beside her parent and was running around the auditorium.  the concert pianist stepped away from this instrument in order to maintain concentration.  The child ran up the steps onto the stage, sat herself down on the stool, and began to play discordant notes at random as she pleased.  The hushed audience gasped in horror and embarrassment.  The pianist walked toward the child and stood behind her as she played.  The pianist leaned over her hand, and without disturbing her, placed right and left hands outside her two small hands on the keyboard.  The pianist then began to play in response to her notes, weaving their discordant sounds into an improvised melody.  To have thrown the child out would have been to block; to have let her play on would have been to accept; to weave a wonderful melody around her was to receive her as a gift, to over-accept.
                                                                                               - Samuel Wells

You are never and inturruption to Divine Pianist.  Your off notes and broken rhythms are never outside the steady movements of God.  You are, after all, a gift and welcomed to play at the seat of the Great Musician.  So, do not be over-concered with the glares of others or over-whelmed that your timing and technique are fragmented. 

This is what it means to be a child.

It is not yours to orchestrate each stanza and perfect each measure.  This is the work of the Conductor, who, as you get lost in the delight of play, hems you into a bigger song.

It Will Not Dismay

Love; it will not betray you

Dismay or enslave you, it will set you free

Be more like the man you were made to be

- Mumford and Sons, Sigh No More

Others can only give you glimpses to the depth and fullness of Love; for others also know how to take things away: innocence, hope and ironically, even love.  Filtered and dispensed through imperfect people, Love can woo us closer and then abruptly leave us abandoned.  We've smelled it's sweet aroma and have been repulsed by its foul stench.  When left to manage on our own, Love plays games.

We feel foolish, silly, skeptical, angry, jaded, wounded, pissed, embittered, cynical, hurt.

We swear to the stars and vow to the heavens that we will not let "love" do this to us again.  And so having tasted its fickle flavor we pass on its future offerings. 

Yet this is not the true nature of Love.

Love given from the Source is free from all impurities.  It has never been touched or tainted by another and it is given without a catch, a hitch, or strings attached.  If you drink this Love from the Deep Well you will be forever refreshed.

More like you were made to be.

May you, in spite of past experience be open to receive from Love.  May it quench your longing, free your pain, and imbold you to forgive.

Calculating the Past

If the only way for you to move forward in life is to make perfect sense of what happened in the past then you will never live into the best of each day.

Our constant need to figure out why things happened the way they did (so we can engineer a perfect outcome in the future) brings no guarantees.  It only gives the illusion that our anxiety and worry are actually assets.

We are attracted to our over-scrutinizing-trend-predicting way of thinking because it constructs a world where we are in control.  Yet there is only one truth to this addictive way of operating:  we are not.

Every day situations arise, events unfold and others behave, in ways that we could not have predicted, expected or ever thought possible.  Sometimes we are surprised with joy and other times we are shocked in horror.  Trying to make sense of the things that leave us perplexed only captivates us to the past.

The conduit for real freedom is not found in the firm over-analyzing closed grip of the past but, paradoxically, in the open handed posture of awareness and mystery.  No problem to solve, no history to construct just the attentive nature that allows us to wonder, honor, and marvel at all that life brings.

This is not a passive approach where we resign ourselves to the gods as they see fit.  Rather this is an active co-participation (a giving, a receiving and giving again) with Life Itself.

It’s in the past.  What’s done is done.  Wonder.  Awe.

How Loud Is Your Fear?

Fear of failure.

Fear of being “found out”.

Fear of not being as good as others think you are.

Fear that you will have to try harder than you ever have before.

Fear that it will require you to dig deep.

Fear that you don’t have enough time.

Fear that you can’t live up to your standards.
Fear that it can’t be done.
Fear that it has never been done that way before.

Fear that you won’t fit in.

Fear that no one will buy it.

Fear that no one will listen.

Fear that it will kick you to the outside.

Fear that there is no going back.

When your fear gets loud, it’s probably an indicator that you are on the verge of something great.

...keep going.

Tug-Of-War

The Artist and the CEO are in a constant tug-of-war for my attention and affection.  I like the unencumbered free-thinking idealism of the Artist and yet I am attracted to the clear-headed achievement of the CEO.

The problem arises when these two are left to their own devices: if the CEO goes untethered it sells its soul to the highest bidder (no art, just a product pimped) and if the Artist is left alone their creative ideas rarely come to life (no art produced just idealism locked up in their head). 

Both Artist and CEO are needed.  Both have value.

At its best, the Artist keeps the CEO honest and inspired while the CEO sets up the system for the Art to travel.

Sometimes this relationship is a war to the death (have you ever seen a creative mind and a controlling "type A" personality collaborate on a project?) and other times it is a dance of harmonious beauty.

Part of living out your true self is being able to live in the tension of the Artist and CEO.

Step Into Your Life

Wishing you could do what you see someone else doing?  Do you lament that your life is not as interesting as what your “friends” portray in their status updates?  If you keep moving down this path you can be sure you will never step into your unique calling.

The more time you spend focused on what someone else is doing means you have less time and energy to dream and act on what only you can do.

Stop your infatuation with other people's lives...it will keep you from falling in love with your own.

Kessel Run In Less Than 12 Parsecs

I started doodling a TV and the first thing that came to mind (when wondering what should be "on TV") was the Millenium Falcon.

Probably because it is one bad-ass ship.

What would you doodle on your TV?

Grin

What did you carve this year?

Prioritize Your Art

What are you working on today? 

Is it something that feeds your soul or is it a have-to-should-supposed-to-expectation-duty-obligatory-go-through-the-motions-check-list-task?

Yes, we all have things we are “supposed to do”; responsibilities that need fulfillment because others are waiting on us.  However, please don’t let this be your excuse from getting to your real work.

Every day you have an opportunity to creatively lean into that which brings you life.  You may need to change your day’s schedule so your art becomes a greater priority, you may need to change your attitude so you stop blaming others for your lack of production, or you may need to change your expectations of creativity so you can find beauty in what you are already doing.

We are all busy people with expectations too long to list.  The difference between the artist and the amateur is that the artist makes a way for their art to come alive.

Jack Money

The stream of conciousness for this doodle came when I thought about combining two holidays (Halloween and St. Patrick's Day).  What combination doodle will you come up with today?

Can Your Art Speak For Itself?

Doing the work to the best of your ability and letting it stand on its own is a difficult task.  We would rather give some kind of pre-emptive qualifier to distance ourselves from the work in case it doesn’t go over well. 

Upon turning in his paper the student tells his professor, “It’s not my best paper; I’ve been swamped with other coursework but here you go”.  Or just before the unveiling the sculptor tells her critic, “It’s not my favorite piece; I rushed things a bit, but here it is”.

This kind of commentary gives us the feeling of safety.  If the work is not well received, at least we identified it first; a sign of a high achiever.  If the work is well received, then we come across as humble and modest.  Either way, we feel like we're safe.  Yet in reality, this couldn’t be further from the truth.

Pre-emptive qualifiers are dangerous to you and to your art.

Pre-emptive qualifiers are fueled by the desire to be liked; the need for approval. Its primary concern is constructing and protecting an image.  In providing us cover to hide behind we no longer have to pay attention to the harsh reality:  maybe we’re not as good as we think we are or maybe we are.

I’m not sure which is more terrifying.

Try submitting your next assignment without any additional commentary.  Allow the work to stand on its own and listen to what it teaches you.

The Ensuing Battle

To surrender or give up?

Neither one of these are particularly attractive.  In each case that which we wanted is given over to something else; another way, an outside force, a different ideal.  We would rather die than surrender and our American work ethic tells us that we cannot give up.  And so we do what most people do when faced with the prospect of surrender or giving up…

We fight.

Opposing armies fight, political parties fight, spouses fight, kids fight, co-workers fight.  We fight for our voice to be heard, our ideas to be understood, and for our dreams to be fulfilled.  We fight because we believe our way is worth subscribing to; a way worth living.

When we believe something is “worth fighting for” lines are drawn, elbows are thrown, and the battle ensues.  And it rages on until someone gives up, gives over, surrenders or is destroyed.

While commentary could be made of the many battles going on in the world around us, I’m wondering about the battle that is raging within you.  The battle no one sees because each day you dutifully report to the expectations placed on you.  The battle between:

Who others say you are vs. Who you think you are.

What you do vs. What you wish you could do.

Where you are vs. Where you wish you were.

This battle is exhausting.  It takes no prisoners.  It leaves one scattered; a displacement of self with no home in sight.   We fight because we long for a better way.  We fight because we can’t imagine surrendering and resigning ourselves to status-quo-living for the rest of our life.  But I’m not sure that this fight will bring the resolve we long for.

This is the endless fight of the prove-yourself-merry-go-round.  Maybe it’s time you simply stop.

Fighting.

Perhaps this is what Jesus was getting at when he said, “Whoever tries to keep their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life will preserve it.”

Maybe instead of training to fight, it's time you practice letting go.

The Wonderlust Wagon

To those who are:

studying for exams, working on a new idea, going through a bitter custody battle, coaching youth sports, spending money you don't have, excited about a new relationship, learning a language, dealing with a chronic illness, trying to make sense of someone else's decisions, rich, finishing your doctoral thesis, wishing golf was less frustrating, poor, traveling abroad, lying to your spouse, wishing you were never born, able to slam-dunk a basketball, terrible at remembering names but great at remembering faces, certain the Republicans cheat, still living with mom and dad, skeptical of the President's "hope and change", relieved your boss didn't notice, ecstatic that you found your glasses, leery of food labels that read "real cheese", nervous about an upcoming conversation, believing the best while others have cast doubt, trying to get their body back, giving their body away, a sucker for a "chick-flick", or...

playing the banjo across country in their station-wagon-sleeper with their "free hugs" sign-wearing dog,

Love the Lord your God with all of your heart, with all of your soul, with all of your mind, and with all of your strength...and love your neighbor as yourself.

It will change everything.

Life, Liberty & The Pursuit of Happiness

This sounds like a beautiful promise, something worthy to achieve, but be careful.

These words may speak to our longings and calm our fears but be cautious.

This ideal may seem like an American Dream but don’t allow it to lull you to sleep.

Sadly, in our effort to have “life”, we resort to slander, we fight, we take others to war and we even justify killing.  Our desire for “liberty” becomes self-focused; one man’s liberty becomes another’s oppression.  The pursuit of “happiness” becomes our unquenchable narcotic; leaving us with an insatiable appetite for more.

In this season remember:

The American Dream

is not

The Gospel Dream.

A dream where the dreamers pursue self-sacrifice as a way to true life.  A dream where in becoming a servant to all, others are set free.  And a dream where suffering in solidarity with the least of these, unites us in joy.

Avoidance Is the Problem

Peace will never be achieved by pretending everything is “okay”.  It cannot be ushered in if you avoid difficult conversations.  “Wishful thinking” does nothing to jump-start the movement of peace.  Peace will never return if you keep running away from conflict.  Relationships will never be mended if you decide to “mind your own business”.  Peace cannot be experienced by others if you are unwilling to let go.  Darkness will continue to dwell heavily until you decide to turn on the light.

There is no easy way to usher peace.

Maybe today is the day for you to face a difficult situation.  Maybe today you need to discuss something with someone you love or maybe you need to begin by taking a deep look into the mirror.

May you be given the courage to face what lies ahead.  And may the Peace of Christ rule your days.

Lazy Walking Taco

I don't care much for walking tacos and so I am rather indifferent to them should they choose to be lazy.  What will you doodle this Friday?  And please, don't eat any walking tacos...they're gross.

Mom and Her Apron

A living planet is a much more complex metaphor for deity than just a bigger father with a bigger fist.  If an omniscient, all-powerful dad ignores your prayers, it's taken personally.  Hear only silence long enough, and you start wondering about His power.  His fairness.  His very existence.  But if a world mother doesn't reply, Her excuse is simple.  She never claimed conceited omnipotence.  She has countless others clinging to Her apron strings, including myriad species unable to speak for themselves.  To Her elder offspring She says, "Go raid the fridge, Go play outside.  Go get a job.  Or, better yet, lend me a hand.  I have no time for whining."

             -David Brin

How might this image of God shape the way you live in the world?

How does this image change your expectations of God?

Pencil Surfing Skeletons

"Long live the sombrero that sits upon the Pencil-Surfing Skeleton who writes 'Awesome' in reverse!"

A doodle isn't about making 'sense', it is about letting the pen do what it will.  Have fun today with a doodle (and if all possible, doodle during an important meeting).

Self-Fitting Custom Frames

“Letting go of self is an essential precondition to real seeing”.

- Freeman Patterson

When we hold onto self, our seeing is blurred by all of our baggage, treasures, fears, joys, failures, victories, successes and insecurities.  Life is viewed as either an idealistic possibility that can be reached via self-achievement or as a dead-end road that is ever-constricting until it finds its abrupt end.

From a self-seeing perspective people and creation become just another commodity (objects to our own end; something for us to engulf) or the competitor (afraid they will detract or “take-away” from us we look to destroy).  In either case this vantage point is neither life-giving or creative.

Through our hyper-individualized perspective we lose sight of the big picture.  As a result, we become enthralled with our own achievement and wrecked by our own failure.  This myopic grid, in which we view the world around us, says “it is about you”; about your success, about your joy, about your failure, about your sadness.

But it is not.

It never has been and never will be.

To really see, the myopic grid, the glasses of “self” need to be taken off.  Yet here in lies the problem; we believe we can remove our own glasses.  This, however, is the old self talking. The truth is we cannot remove the self-fitting-custom-frames on our own.

They must be taken off for us.

Like Jesus’ interaction with the blind man, grace must meet us in the most unpredictable of ways and in the most peculiar of forms.  Saliva-made-mud is an unlikely ointment (the antithesis to seeing would be "mud in your eye").  It could be in the form of rejection, a diagnosis, or a heartbreak, but grace will come to you.

In being placed upon you, your likely reaction to the paradox will be, "how is this going to make me see?!?!?".  But the seeing doesn't happen when grace comes (as if our "seeing" could be forced or coerced).  Our seeing comes when, like the blind man, we respond to being sent.

"Having said this, he spit on the ground, made mud with the saliva, and put it on the man's eyes.  'Go,' he told him, 'wash in the Pool of Siloam' (this word means 'Sent').  So the man went and washed, and came home seeing."

May you, when grace comes, stop clinging to your old glasses wishing they could bring the fullness of life into focus.  May you in courage, "Go", "Wash" and be given a vision big enough to take in all you were meant to behold.

The Hero Path

We have only to follow the thread of the hero path.  Where we had thought to find an abomination, we shall find a god; where we had thought to slay another, we shall slay ourselves; where we had thought to travel outwards, we shall come to the center of our own existence; were we had thought to be alone, we shall be with all the world.

- Joseph Campbell, The Hero With A Thousand Faces

Proof-Reading

I trust the Author of Creation to pen the story of my life,

it's just that…

I need to look over his shoulder to make sure he is dotting his “i’s” and crossing his “t’s”.

He probably gets annoyed with my hovering,

however…

He doesn’t know how lucky he is to have me as a tutor.

Creative Incarceration

I hope you’re not waiting for permission or approval for your creative expression.  If so, pull up a chair and get comfortable.  If the artist within you is waiting for someone else to let them out then the only thing you can count on is a life-sentence of creative incarceration.

You can blame the creative hold-up on other people’s bureaucracy and “lack of vision”, but really, it’s just your fear that’s keeping you back.

The Disappointment Myth

I’m not sure what it was that opened you up to the world of disappointment.  Perhaps your first taste came when you realized Santa didn’t always bring everything you asked for.  Or maybe it was when you realized there was no man in a red suit and it was your parents all along.  Worse, maybe it came when your Santa-playing-parents told you they were splitting up.

Over the years I’m sure your disappointment has taken on all shapes and sizes.  Some disappointments are very small, like the pickles placed on your “plain” cheeseburger.  Others are incredibly large, like the hole in your heart when a loved one left you.

Regardless, each time disappointment breaks in we feel as though something has been taken from us; a robbery of the worst kind.  It steals our innocence, kidnaps our truest self, and holds for ransom our best assumptions of others and this world. 

Once we are introduced to the world of disappointment many of us never leave.  It becomes our permanent place of residence.  We live in a state of perpetual disappointment for fear that something might capture our heart and affection only to have it swiped from us yet again.  Our instincts for self-preservation kick in and we decide no longer to attach ourselves to hopes, desires, and aspirations.

After all, if dreams are just a lure for the snare of disappointment, then skepticism might just keep us alive.

But that is the myth.

Skepticism may feel like a blanket of security, but it only suffocates the potential for new life to breath.  The strange reality is that the only true way to move out of the world of disappointment is to put yourself back out there; to aspire and hope again, and…

to run the risk of further disappointment.

But, this is where the nature of disappointment is revealed.  Disappointment is not the enemy or adversary.  Instead, disappointment is a gauge…

a barometer of our hope.

Disappointment is the proof that we are a people who take risks; that we are a people who dream.  Proof that we are a people, who in a broken world, believe healing is possible.

May you never be lost in the world of disappointment again.  May your disappointment reveal to you and others that you are someone who believes in the possible.  And may your disappointment be engulfed by the courage to dream again.

...With A Dragon On Top

2 Scoops Of Mint Chocolate Chip With A Dragon On Top

This was my doodle of the day...what is yours?

If you haven't doodled yet...what's keeping you?

When God Decided To Invent

When God decided to invent

everything he took one

breath bigger than a circus tent

and everything began

When man determined to destroy

himself he picked the was

of shall and finding only why

smashed it into because

- E. E. Cummings

It is our nature to want a reason for everything.  We want to know the cause, we want to know the purpose and we want to know where it is all going.  We want to know the “Why?”

And so we search.

We do not handle the “because I said so” of a parent very well; we seek the hidden meaning in each of life’s circumstances and look to crack the code of purpose when life’s movements leave us baffled.

In our frantic pursuit of the "because" we find only Anxious Thoughts and Sleepless Nights.

Yet some things are just as they are; no moralizing needed, no hidden meaning and nothing to decode.  Simply:

Is & Shall

This is the space where exhilarating wonder and breath-holding terror collide.  This is the space where we learn to swim in the deep end of life and are buoyed by the mystery of God.  This is the place where we are most alive.

It's Not My Fault

“It’s not my fault!”

Congratulations, but what I really want to know is…

“How are we going to fix the situation?”

Making excuses will not help you or those you are in relationship with.  Excuses and shifting responsibility is easy (making it attractive) but terrible uncreative (rendering it unhelpful).

A true professional, whether it is a Pro-Athlete, Pro-Politician, Pro-Office Manager, Pro-Student, or Pro-Spouse is less concerned with who is at fault and more concerned with being a part of the plan to bring remedy.

Proven

“Jesus, Jesus how I trust him!  How I proved him o’er and o’er”.

What does it mean to prove Jesus?

Does it mean that we need to brush up on our apologetics so we can systematically uphold the tenants of the faith?  I don’t think so.  Maybe the hymn is a charge to the faithful to evangelize their neighbor with the four spiritual laws?  I’m not so convinced.

Proof distilled in these terms is static, cold, and without need of relationship…this kind of “proof” is lifeless.

Proving Jesus is not about what we know or what we can convince others of.  Instead, the proof is found in a dynamic, living, relationship in which we act in faith and he responds in promise. The Israelites proved YHWH when, in faith, they found themselves between the Red Sea and Pharaoh’s army.  David proved his King when he stepped on the battle field to face a giant.  Mary proved her Father when she birthed Salvation.

Proving Jesus means we create the space and God shows up to the dance.

And when he does?

Those who have the privilege to watch…can’t help but marvel. 

May you muster all you can to step out into the thin places of life with the inkling that he just might show up.  And, when he does…may you experience the thrill of proving Jesus over and over again.

Giving Up On the Game

“How are you, young man?  No doubt you’re expecting a lecture, but I promise that’s the last thing I intend.  Your decision to leave medical school is your own entirely.  I can even understand and sympathize.  Around the third year, when exhaustion and nausea have taken up permanent residence in your bones, the healing profession seems less like a calling and more like and exercise in expedience and venality.  I understand that brand of despair better than I wish.  But it’s a different decision you’ve made that troubles me more deeply.

I mean your choice to give up golf.”                        - The Legend of Bagger Vance

Idealism, promise, expectation, hope.  These are all good things.  These elements do more than get us out of bed in the morning; they propel us into each day with the anticipation that something remarkable and worth while will take place.

We are a burst of energy in which no obstacle is too big.  Exhaustion never even gets a chance to yawn because we are awakened to a mission bigger than ourselves.  We embody the change we want to bring to the world and we believe we can do anything.

Then…

Challenge flanks us in a manner totally unexpected; completely blind-sided.  We see a side to the Opposition that we never saw before and we are left disarmed, disrobed, and disheartened.  The ideal, once fuel for life, offers nothing but the bitter taste of “what could have been”.

Cynicism encroaches as we question the work, the calling.  “What’s the point?”, “Why bother?” “Where’s the meaning?” become just a few of the rhetorical questions we feast on.  We come to a grinding halt.

We give up.  We are sidelined.  We are beaten.  Something within us dies.

And we are left with a choice:

Fade away until nothing is left.

or…

Keep playing.

May you, in your moment of defeat, your season of disillusionment, be filled with just enough promise to believe that giving up on the game is never an option.  And may you have the courage to keep showing up to the life no one else has been gifted to live.

Tiny Little gods

The little gods of this world make demands.  They tell us what we should be doing, how we should be behaving, who we should vote for, and why we should believe what we believe.  These little gods bark commands with a puffed up chests and give orders that relish in compliance.

Politics, religion, family dynamics, and our inner thoughts all give a platform to these little gods.  We are attracted to little gods because they claim to have each answer carefully packaged…no need to wrestle, chew, and digest.  They are remarkable little creatures and so getting lured in by tiny gods is easy.

They speak with a cadence of confidence and mask their delusions with authority. 

When we bend our ear to the little gods we give them power to speak into our life and alter who we really are.  They feed on our insecurities, grow in our conformity and devour our identity.

But the secret?  These tiny gods are afraid.

Afraid that you will see them for what they are…trivial, small, insignificant.  Afraid you will awaken from their spell and no longer pay attention to them.  Afraid the home they constructed, fit only for a straw man, will blow away.

Be skeptical of the pat answers that leave no lasting satisfaction.  Be cautious when your allegiance is expected, and be leery of the little gods that make demands…

That you might be open to the one God that gives invitations.

Living Icons

“We seldom celebrate enough the fact that healingness and newness are inborn in the human person, and we can release them into the world in creative and redemptive ways.  We are perhaps too frozen in the notion that we are faithful if we are obedient.  We are moral if we play it safe.  We are virtuous if we ask God to do stuff for us.  Slowly and not often enough do we learn that God is not one who bails us out, or one who nags and supervises what is entrusted to us.  The good news is a glorious but demanding affirmation that we are trusted by God to live a new kind of life.”      - Walter Brueggemann

You are one of God’s icons; designed to reflect his very nature.

Goodness.

Mercy.

Justice.

Love.    

Do not wait for God…he is waiting for you.  You have been trusted to act, to move in ways that promote wholeness, restoration and peace.

Today, and each moment within its confines, you have opportunity to live out what has been hard wired into you.  Do not listen to the voice that says, “not good enough”, “forgotten”, “washed up”, “unqualified”, “fool”.  Instead listen as the Author of All sends you forward with new words:

“Chosen”, “Esteemed”, “Friend”, “Daughter”, “Son”...

"Image bearer".

Don't Wait to Create

Get moving.  Put something on paper.  Anything.

Grab a brush and splash some color or take a pen and fashion some words.  Don’t think, just do.

The color doesn’t have to be brilliant to shine and the words don’t have to make a sentence to make sense…just get going.

Writer’s block?  What to create?  What if it’s no good?

No time for excuses, no critic can fully critique those who create.

Go!



Last Of The American Girls

She puts her makeup on like graffiti on the walls of the heartlandShe's got her little book of conspiracies right in her handShe is paranoid like endangered species headed into extinctionShe is one of a kind, well, she's the last of the American girls
She wears her overcoat for the coming of the nuclear winterShe is riding her bike like a fugitive of critical massShe's on a hunger strike for the ones who won't make it for dinnerShe makes enough to survive for a holiday of the working class
She's a runaway of the establishment incorporatedShe won't cooperate, well, she's the last of the American girls
She plays her vinyl records singing songs on the eve of destructionShe's a sucker for all the criminals breaking the lawsShe will come in first for the end of Western civilizationShe's an endless war, she's a hero for the lost cause
Like a hurricane in the heart of the devastationShe's a natural disaster, she's the last of the American girls


We've made it to the class of 13...looking forward to many more.

Enjoy

Today is the Sabbath.

It was created for you.

Ride a bike, paint a picture, milk a cow, play catch with a child…

Rest.

Rest in the fact that you are not a number or a cog in a wheel.

Rest your worries for tomorrow.

Rest in knowing that “it” is not up to you.

You were created to enjoy all of this.

Today is a gift.

Hold On...It's Coming

Probably the thing I struggle with most is being patient.  Not the kind of patience needed when the guy in front of you at the grocery check-out realizes he has forgotten his wallet (usually just after he scanned through his entire shopping cart).  Or the kind of patience one must possess when traveling through Chicagoland traffic.  Oddly enough these impatient moments make sense to me.

Lines at the grocery store will not go on forever and the traffic on your reverse commute will, at some point break-up.

There will be resolve.

The patience I struggle with is when life hits moments that, like heavy traffic, have little movement.  When life feels stuck I want to know how to get it “un-stuck”, I want to know the purpose of the “stuckness” and what is on the other side of the curve.

I question whether there will be resolve.

My impatience breeds anxiety and steals the joys each moment tries to offer.  No joy received.  Asleep to the possibilities in front of me and entrenched in confusing nightmares of my own making, it is in this space that God becomes the Manipulating Trickster.

Maybe another image is in order.  Something that gives respect to the restlessness I feel but renders it powerless.

Jesus gave the example of a child asking for a fish and reminded us that God is not a manipulating trickster who gives a snake, but a loving father who gives beyond what we even ask.

The dynamic is like a child jumping up and down with arms outstretched towards their parent who is lovingly (and patiently) at work un-wrapping a treat for their child.  “Hold on”, the Parent says in a tone that is affirming and promising.  “It is coming”.  With a smile the Parent finishes unwrapping and gladly hands the treat over.

The child was on the verge of a temper tantrum but the Parent was not fazed.  The treat, the gift was always coming; Hope sure and certain.  The resolve may not be in our way or our timing, but there indeed will be a resolve...

And it will abound with goodness.

Hashing It Out

Who would argue with God?  Those that love him.

Why would God bother arguing with us?  Because of his love.

Strange, but our arguments and disagreements with God are indicators of an intimate relationship.  We wrestle with those we love over matters that are important to us and so to find ourselves in a quarrel with the Divine is movement towards oneness.

Walter Brueggemann writes, “Hassling with God, which Israel did with a passion, is an act of faith.  It is a covenantal way of life, for it means that the two parties to the hassling do indeed take each other seriously and know that on their own they must come to terms with each other”.

Arguing with God is part of our mutual “working out” the relationship.  This is not merely “my” relationship with God, but rather the one we share in together (us and the Divine).  Heated dialogue reveals our passion and that which we hold close…whom better to reveal those things than to the One who placed them within our souls?

Do not refrain from questioning God on things you do not understand because of some false notion of piety.  Do not shy away from a slug-fest with the Lion of Judah because the tune “Jesus Loves Me” prances in your thoughts.  Instead…

Unleash your fear.  Scream your apprehension.  Let the furry of your frustration fly.  Be relentless with your interrogation.  

Tell the Father of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob what you really think.  Argue with vibrato and veracity because the relationship matters and love is worth it.